I sat up all night contemplating the calling of God on my life. I think that I am blessed of God just to be elected into salvation, a calling I do not deserve. I know that all of the good I’ve done in my life doesn’t really stack up to a hill of beans before a God who does nothing but good. I meditated on how much wrong I’ve done in my life and how some of it, if not all and if tallied up, would negate all of my good and more than likely put me in the hole. With this troubling my mind I thought to myself how I was so mortally sick when I did those things. I also questioned how could I ever please a God who chose in eternity past to be a God who would never entertain the thought of evil. These contemplations flooded my heart, mind, and soul.
I would love to tell you about how God answered my concerns in a dream or illuminated epiphany, but that just did not happen. In fact, my friends, I knew the answers before I had asked the questions. The first thing is absolutely, I am totally undeserving of salvation and the hopes and promises it entails. I deserve death via the cross for my premeditated rebellion. God, however, in His ingenious plan to show himself to the world through love, first loved me and pitied my soul and all the things I had done to it by sin. He gave me His Son’s pure blood and forgave me and loved me all the while 2000 years prior, He gave my despicable blood to His Son and punished Him in place of me. This is love and though my conscience is still seared at those things I did, His love outweighs any guilt my own thoughts convict me of.
It is our permanent sickness given for us to inherit that caused me to be so small in front of temptation. I am sick. I need the only soul physician available, Jesus Christ! My sickness is of sin and giving way to the temptation of sin is why, by my deeds, I can never please God. The offering of my heart to Christ saved my soul before God and not anything I have ever done. Christ’s blood made me a pleasure for God to look upon, not my deeds.
Now, I have absolutely nothing to be prideful or boastful about. I’m lost in the great humility of one who is being rescued by another, putting my life fully in the trust of my Rescuer, knowing I can do nothing else to help myself. This humbled me and in a great hope for my readers, I hope it humbles you too, for we were all once in a sinking ship, and had to call on Someone stronger than we to be saved and live life brand new. I am ever indebted to You, Jesus Christ!