I often feel I need to leave this world and go on to be with Jesus. The depression in my life is great and I wonder just how long I’m going to be able to hold out. Everyday presents a new face, most are ugly, and few are pretty. The further I get down the road of life, the more I contemplate an end. But, is this what God had planned for me? To go out in a suicidal blaze of glory? I say, I fully doubt that for many reasons. In fact, I know that’s not the plan God has for any life.
I often remember the life of Jesus Christ. How the crowds adored Him when He first came on to the scene of Judea as a new mouth for the Jewish God. Everywhere He went, there were people lined up wanting a Word or a healing. The crowds would actually push upon Him like He was a rock ‘n roll superstar who had just finished singing His new hit and now taking autographs. I remember Him being so accepted, happy, seemingly uncaring of what was to come.
But, that’s it! He knew what was to come! He knew amongst all this favor and acceptance, He was to be rejected, mocked, belittled in front of a crowd, beaten, scourged, and sentenced to death via the cross. Now, I don’t know what is to happen that causes my death. Somehow though, I doubt it’s that horrible.
So when I think of taking my own life, I think of Christ. I think of the two years of His acceptance all to be strung up by the same crowd. I think of Him knowing this was to happen, yet by His faith in God, He was bound to determined to finish His mission, thereby saving my hide and yours.”It is finished”, He said while the horrid suffering was about to end. If Christ can find a way to finish His great and awesome mission in this life, and I be in Him with a mission not near as grand, then by God, I can finish it too!
Posted in: Marvin's Ministry & Testimonies
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